aries_buckhorn: a blue bridge in evening with lights (Default)
Holy Gandalf, I was woken up at 6 am by some crazy noise. Turns out they're putting asphalt on the road. No warning, no signs in advance, nothing. The cars are going by, but slowly. 
Fuck me. I'm still exhausted and now I'm missing out on sleep. Great.

We passed our training test Saturday! We didn't do very well, but enough, and that's fine. I haven't been doing much training (with the dog) at home, so I was actually not sure if we would succeed, but we did. Yay!
I already signed up for two classes (sorry, I don't know what to call it in English - we call it "hold", which translates to teams or groups) because I couldn't choose. I really want to go to clicker-training, it's so good and I'll learn how to train in a soft, positive way, which is great for shelter dogs (every dog tbh), but I also want to go to agility, because that's Kaiza's thing. She's energetic and want to jump on things. 
So I just signed us up for both, even if I fear I can't handle it. Clicker is on Wednesday and agility is on Thursday in the summer and on Saturday in the winter.
We'll see. If not I'm gonna choose agility. I think Kaiza would like that the most.

I'm exhausted and my period cramps are violent this month. I've been in pain for days now.

I did something. Something I haven't done in years.
I weighed myself. I actually went on our scale and looked at the number.
I don't do that. I'm overweight and I know it and that's that.
But I'm following a person on Bluesky who has been working hard at losing weight and gaining muscle, and their pictures look so great, and I know I'm probably losing weight too, so I just wanted to see if I can see any difference in half a year or a year.
On the bright side, I weigh less than expected, not much, but it's still great!
I hope i keep losing weight, even though it's a very slow process. Maybe running around at agility once a week will help a bit 😂

The summer is a upon us! It was hot yesterday. For the first time it was summer-hot. Though it doesn't seem to continue. 
I got a sunburn Saturday, I completely forgot about sun screen. I was just taken by surprise by the hot and sunny weather. I'm gonna remember it from now on.
And it seems like the load of stuff to do is getting better from now on. It's the last training session on my old team tomorrow and then I have things the next to Sundays. On Wednesday next week I have to go to the hospital for my yearly evaluation for my diabetes. I'm not looking forward to it since public transport to the big city is a pain in the ass for me, but it has to be done. Luckily I think I can get picked up by hubby when he's of work.

I hope it stays this way. With very little plans. I need some vacation. I really, really do.

I'm going to get some breakfast and then walk the dog before it gets too hot. And hopefully then I can take a nap. 
aries_buckhorn: a blue bridge in evening with lights (Default)
I feel like I'm too tired to exist. Not in any dying kind-a-way, just ... I just want to sink into the couch or my bed and rest and sleep and not have to be an adult.
I can't remember the last time I was so exhausted.

Today I have dog-training and Saturday it's the big day, where we're going to the final test for the introduction class. Our instructor already said we're an automatic pass, because we're doing so well, but I don't know. I haven't been training at home, because I'm so tired.
I'm gonna ask her today what she thinks. Should we come, even though we can't do all the exercises?
Next Tuesday is the last time in this class. It's so sad, I really love the instructors and my teammates, but I look forward to try something new.
And I really look forward to some vacation. I hope this burnout doesn't last the whole summer.

I finished a shawl Sunday. Finally a finished project! It could have been bigger, but I don't have anymore of that yarn and it's fine. I love the colors and I'll try to actually use it, but I wouldn't be surprised if I gave it away.
I've sewn one side of my sweater together, it wasn't that bad, it just took forever! I have sewing. I was thinking of doing the other half today, but nah. Maybe tomorrow.
I already wanna start something new, but I'm gonna stick to my list of UFOs. I really need to feel like I can finish stuff.
I have another ball of the same yarn as for the shawl, just in another color. I'm looking forward to start something up with it at some point. I absolutely love that yarn! (it's Winter Glow from Hobbii).

Today I spend some money, even though I shouldn't. But I discovered there's a twin to my Paperblanks notebook. I have the Firebird, and there's a Skybird! I just had to have it, and I ended up buying a puzzle and another notebook with Asterix and Obelix. Pure nostalgia, I read the comics as a child.
Bad me, but I feel like pampering myself a bit. I mean, I feel like I'm dying.

I haven't been working on Skyggefarer at all for days. Nor anything else. I have no brain. I wish I did, I really wanna do something related to writing. but I'm so friggin' tired.
Instead I've watched three seasons of Sleepy Hollow. I don't think I'll watch the fourth. No spoilers, but it just seems weird making another season after how the third ended?
Instead I watched some S.W.A.T. with my best friend on Friday and now I'm knee deep into Justified with Timothy Olyphant. I love that guy. And it's pretty good! I love the dry humor and the characters. Kentucky seems like a wild place to live 😜

Oh well. Now I'm gonna get some lunch and then crawl back to the couch. Maybe take a nap. If I'm gonna drive myself to training, I think I need some sleep.

I really, really need some time off. I wish I had the opportunity to go to a summer house for a week and just... Be me. Well, I would have to bring the dog, but that's okay. But shit that's expensive and I have stuff to do. Had it been out of season I might have given it a thought (it's cheaper then), but I just have to try to relax at home.

Shit.
Napping sounds great right now.
 

aries_buckhorn: a blue bridge in evening with lights (Default)
What I really wanted to share in my last post, which went of the rails - I'm feeling better now, I got my thoughts sorted out - was music.

More on that later. First!

I drove to dog training and home today 🥳 I'm starting to feel a bit silly for dragging my hubby along, but I still do not feel safe enough to drive without him. But my goal is to drive myself alone before the summer vacation.
Background: I do have a drivers license, but I'm scared of driving. But we just got an electrical car, and somehow my anxiety just ... not disappeared, but it's almost not present. It's such a nice car with a crazy amount of helping functions, I feel a lot more safe. Our old car was an old diesel with manual stick, and it just scared the crap out of me. I'm never going back!

But damn, I would really like to have my own car.
Hubby wants me to have my own car too, since I'm gonna change classes at dog training after summer, and there's suddenly something about weekend days and what have we, and he doesn't wanna sit home and be bored while I have the car xD
But money. So no. It's not gonna happen.

The training went very well today. We tried rally, and it's so much fun. We don't have rally at the club, but one of our instructors actually is a rally instructor. I might have been pushing a little for her to make a class. And of course it would be on a Sunday. Dammit. But if she decides to start a class, I'm joining! I really like it. And the dog does too!

I'm so proud of my street dog. She's such a good girl <3

And now.

Music.

I've fallen in love with almost a whole album. "The Fall" by Tommee Profitt and Sam Tinnesz. It's just perfect.
My favorites are Garden, Spiral (with Our Last Night!) and Darkest Hour. The Fall, Lost, and Shadows are also perfection!

Show me the music! )

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Aries Buckhorn

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